Journal on Trusting Myself

Trusting myself is another one of those problems I didn’t think I had.  But once again my behavior belies the confidence I’ve always assumed I had.  The truth is I am as delicate as the next person, nowhere near immune to self-doubt and general uncertainty.  I think any pseudo-confidence I’ve had was based on compulsive readiness.  I was proud of my ability to plan, which is not an inherently bad thing, but it became my entire basis for trusting myself.  And now that I have seen where compulsive planning puts me in life, I realize it’s no way to run a rodeo.

So, how to trust myself when I abandon the rules and regulations?  I suppose some of it comes with practice.  I listen to the Universe, do what it says, and use my gifts to make the best of it.  The more joy this method brings, the more comfortable I feel with it, and the more I trust myself to be able to make it work without knowing every little detail beforehand.

 

Journal on Trusting Myself

Picture Credit – GDJ

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It’s obvious that when the apocalypse comes, I will be one of the weak people. I will have no spin kicks with which to defend myself. I will have only the magic of my words and my understanding to protect me. I will be meat for the beast. (Unless I can engage him in conversation.) And I am fine with that. If my death at monstrous hands becomes imminent, I hope I can meet it in a lounge chair, sipping on a gin martini.

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