Journal on Time & Mindfulness

It’s a commitment I have to make. Mindfulness is a decision about what is important, a specificity of focus that is entirely under my control. One of the few things that responds directly to my will.

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Journal on Healing

I think I try to label this sadness as other things. I call it fear about recurrence or about money. I call it discomfort when I feel I’m not taking care of the site or my body in general. I blame it on my medications or my hormones. I classify it as something old that should have been dealt with already. Imagine that!

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Journal on Subtle Expansion

This is how allowing benefits me. If I control everything, this unconscious network doesn’t function, or it if does I don’t benefit because I’m not listening for those subtle changes in the harmonic of my being.

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Journal on Trusting Myself

I think any pseudo-confidence I’ve had was based on compulsive readiness.  I was proud of my ability to plan, which is not an inherently bad thing, but it became my entire basis for trusting myself.  And now that I have seen where compulsive planning puts me in life, I realize it’s no way to run a rodeo.

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Journal on Gratitude

I am grateful to be here again today.  I am grateful to be sitting at my desk, which used to be my Dad’s desk, writing about life.  I am grateful to pick a different color pen every day.

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Journal on Sharing

My fear of disrupting the flow or not being able to maintain my harmony with it keeps me from jumping in, which means I never do. There is no perfect or perfectly timed way to begin this harmonizing. It has to be done by experience, by feel.

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